lets make it real quick..when i woke up this morning i realized that i have certain habits to disguise something that's disappoints me. especially when it came from my parents. whenever i feel dissapointed,i take a long deep breath,close my eyes,make a straight face and try not to feel anything. surprisingly,it is always work.maybe because ive always been in that position you know like when u dont get appreciation for what you do or being untrusted or when whatever you do it'll never be good enough or when you being compared.fyi that's fucking painful and killing me but the worst of all is i'm getting used to it.
being the second best is never okay.
